Legend: Tokyo, Higurashi Shrine, 2009. Wednesday.
Houjou Inuyasha sits before a computer. Houjou Kagome stand behind him, leaning against him, her arms around his shoulders. Both are casually dressed and barefoot. Two cats lounge on the table behind the computer monitor.
Kagome: How can you possibly read, scrolling that fast?
Houjou: I’m not reading. I’m looking for a handprint.
Kagome: A handprint?
Closeup of Houjou and Kagome looking at the computer screen, with the cats in the foreground.
Houjou: The scroll with the first Toukijin story has a nice little handprint on the border.
Kagome: How can you possibly remember that?
Houjou: Do you have any idea how many times I’ve read these scrolls? Whole articles have been written about that handprint. By me, for one.
Kagome: You wrote an article about a handprint?
Houjou: Mm-hm. I needed to publish something, Kamata from Chemistry needed to publish something. Carson from Art History needed to publish something.
Houjou and Kagome, face to face.
Houjou: So we took scrapings, carbon-dated it, and ran a chemical analysis, and we figured out what it was.
Kagome: Which was…
Houjou: A handprint.
Kagome: Didn't you already know that?
Houjou: Well, of course, but now we've published, so we know it has to be true.
Houjou and Kagome, face to face; he looks a bit concerned, she looks dubious.
Houjou: … Is that OK?
Kagome: Yes…it's…sometimes your job doesn't make much sense to me.
Houjou: … So you had to stop pressing your tits against my back?
Houjou and Kagome; both are smiling, and she is now sitting on his lap, arms around him.
Kagome: Here. I'll press my tits against your front for awhile.
Houjou: Works for me. Ha! Found it!
Both face forward to look at the computer screen, behind which the cats are revving up for a fight.
Kagome: Is that Miroku's handprint?
Houjou: No. It's pretty small, even in the original. I'd say a kid. Could be Shippou. Or maybe one of Miroku's children. He had several.
Profile view of the two looking at the screen. The cats are wrestling.
Kagome: He and Sango had a family, too.
Houjou: Well—he and Sango had a son. There were other sons. We don't know anything about their mother. Could have been Sango.
Close-up of Houjou.
Houjou: The Kobe scroll says that when Lady Kagome would allow no other to minister to Inuyasha's body, Miroku and Sango "took what comfort they could together, and so did Miroku the Houshi, when his pressing need was past, become father of a son, and that, Junpei, who bore no curse upon his hand, but lives this day as a man free of the bond of Naraku."
View of the two. Kagome is tearful. Houjou looks away, eyes hooded, expression neutral.
Kagome: So maybe they got a happy ending.
Kagome: There really is a little baby inside me, right? I mean, all I've got now is hormones. Nausea and weepiness. I hate me like this. I'll bet you're getting tired of me like this.
The two face to face; Houjou looks concerned, Kagome is earnest.
Houjou: … I'm worried about you. You're so overwhelmed.
Kagome: I just want to do something. I want to…to fight! I wouldn't be this bad if I could…I want to protect you this time. I want to…shoot whoever's got the sword.
Closeup of Houjou, smiling.
Houjou: Sesshoumaru's got the sword. And it's the 21st century. You can't shoot people, not even my brother. You have my permission to send him a stern e-mail, not that he'll answer. You can even attach a virus, but you'll never get him. I'm fairly sure he's proxied to Rin.
Close-up of Houjou and Kagome, who looks rather upset.
Kagome: I'm glad to know one of us isn't taking this seriously.
Houjou: Kagome, I'm not laughing at you! But we're probably worrying over nothing! My brother took the sword and forgot to mention it to anyone.
Kagome, standing, looks at Houjou, who is still sitting and smiling.
Houjou: Well, OK, not "forgot." Just fucking didn't feel like telling anyone. He gets tired of Jaken mother-henning him. And we're contracted service vendors.
Kagome: That's a good point. He just voided his warranty.
Kagome leans in close to Houjou, hands on his shoulders, speaking earnestly.
Houjou: Hey, that just sounded like my Kagome! The one with the attitude!
Kagome: Unfortunately, you're stuck with all the Kagomes. The one with the attitude is drowning in the nauseous, weepy, frightened one.
Close-up of the two, close together.
Houjou: Why don't all of you get some sleep.
Kagome: Actually, there are only two of us here. And I hardly believe the other one exists. You're going to sit up?
Houjou: I'll be in soon.
Profile view of Houjou, arms folded on the table as he gazes at the computer, looking worried. One of the cats (Furrufi) still sits by the monitor.
Houjou: … Well. Where was I?
Same view from another angle.
Houjou: … Reading a story about a guy who screws up his life…and then dies in the end. Just like everybody else, I guess.
Close-up of Houjou, who stares at the computer screen. He now looks frankly sad and worried.
Houjou: Miroku, is there anything here? I know this story. I remember living it. I've read it so many times. I know every word, every kanji. Is there anything I'm missing?
Close-up of Houjou.
Houjou: Miroku, I don't want to die again right now. I can't give Kagome a happy ending. But I want to give her—a good life. As much happiness as I can give her in this form.
In the darkened bedroom, Houjou, looking sad and worried, places his hand on the shoulder of the sleeping Kagome as he climbs into bed beside her.
Houjou: Dammit. She doesn't deserve any of this…
Still in the darkened bedroom, Houjou has fallen asleep as Kagome opens her eyes.
Kagom turns to the sleeping Houjou with a gentle expression.
Kagome leans forward to kiss Houjou's forehead.
Kagome strokes Houjou's hair. He is still soundly asleep.
Kagome: I love you, Inuyasha. Hey…just this once…dream of me, huh?
Legend: Chicago. Thursday afternoon.
View of a young man and woman walking side by side. Both have wide, pale eyes and fair, curly hair (like Auley De Dannan), the man's hair blond, the woman's a bit darker, almost like Auley's. These are Auley's other half-siblings, Matthew and Elizabeth Hanlon, the younger brother and sister of Mona Hanlon They are dressed for cool weather in mid-weight jackets, and the woman wears a hat. Behind them are buildings typical of Chicago neighborhood architecture: a crenellated courtyard building, a three-flat.
Elizabeth: Thanks for coming shopping with me, Mattie!
Matt: That's OK. I've resigned myself to never having a third act.
Elizabeth looks at a rack of shoes as Matt looks on.
Elizabeth: That's good! It'll go faster!
Matt: … Yeah.
Elizabeth: Hey! Shoes!
Matt: You need shoes?
Elizabeth: Everybody needs shoes! Look, they put them right outside!
Elizabeth holds upt a shoe as Matt looks on.
Elizabeth: How do they know nobody will steal them?
Matt: They just put out one shoe, and they're all size 6.
The two face to face
Elizabeth: What if there's somebody with one leg, size 6?
Matt: . . . They'll be easy to catch, hopping away.
Close-up of Elizabeth
Elizabeth: . . . Oh. That makes sense.
Matt smiles as Elizabeth holds up a shoe.
Elizabeth: OK, I think I want two of this one, one for each foot. But size seven.
Matt: So go in and tell the salesman.
Full-length view of the two standing in front of the shoe store. The clearance rack is visible.
Elizabeth: Oh! They have more inside!
Matt: You're a trip to shop with, Bethy.
Inside the store, Elizabeth talks to Roger the shoe salesman.
Elizabeth: Are you the shoe salesman?
Roger: That would be me.
Close-up of Elizabeth.
Elizabeth: Hi, shoe salesman! My name is Liz Hanlon, but my friends call me… Elizabeth!
In the shoe store, Elizabeth talks to Roger as Matt looks on.
Roger: um . . . That's a great line.
Elizabeth: Do you have a name?
Roger: Uh . . . Roger.
Elizabeth: Roger, my grandmother is a fertility goddess. Did you know that?
Roger: Actually, I almost guessed that.
Elizabeth is almost nose to nose with the nonplussed Roger. Matt, looking alarmed, has his hand on her back.
Matt: Bethy, you're scaring the man.
Elizabeth: Roger, do you have a wife or girlfriend?
Matt: Bethy, we're buying shoes here…
Roger: Um…Ms…Hanlon was it?
Elizabeth: My friends call me Elizabeth.
Elizabeth and Roger, nose to nose.
Roger: I…have boyfriends sometimes. Did you want to try that shoe?
Close-up of Elizabeth, smiling broadly.
Elizabeth: Matthew! This one's for you!
Roger looks somewhat abashed and Matt covers his face in embarrassment as Elizabeth looks at the shoe in her hand.
Roger: Are you…are you interested in that shoe?
Elizabeth: I'm interested in two of them, one for each foot.
Matt: Ah, jeez, Bethy!
Roger looks suspicious, Matt is embarrassed, Elizabeth is concerned with the shoe.
Matt: Man, I'm sorry. My sister's . . . kind of unusual.
Elizabeth: Do you have this in size 8 and not a high heel, with maybe a strap? And black, not brown.
All three turn to look out the plate glass window at the front of the store; there are police cars across the street.
Roger: Excuse me, but is that a lot of cop cars out there?
Matt: Yeah, now that you mention it…
Elizabeth: Oh. Did they catch the person hopping away with the shoes?
View of police officers, with the shoe store in the background, the three figures standing in the doorway. One officer is unrolling the usual yellow tape reading "Police Line: Do Not Cross." Another is talking on a hand-held radio.
Matt: Yellow tape. Yellow tape is bad.
The three look on as police, inside a police line of sawhorses and yellow tape, talk to two cape-clad figures, one rather tall. In the background, other police stand around a figure lying on the ground.
Roger: I think . . . there's something on the ground in the alley.
Matt: Not something. Someone. It's a body.
Elizabeth: A body? Somebody got . . .
A tall woman in a cape, frizzy-haired and bespectacled, bears down on Roger. It is, in fact, Pauline Cartman, the woman who had Young Doctor Houjou pinned before a nude painting half a dozen books ago.
Pauline: Roger! Roger Cartman!
Roger: Aunt Pauline? What—?
Pauline: "Embracing Your Inner Goddess."
Pauline. "Embracing Your Inner Goddess." The shop where I buy my scented oils. Lani Moodmother and I are witnesses!
The three look at Pauline. Elizabeth and Matt look rather wider-eyed than usual—remember their line of work; Pauline is nothing if not imposing.
Roger: You got your hair cut. And . . . purpled.
Pauline: Purple is an empowering color for me. We saw blood in the alley and called the police. This is a terrible omen.
Pauline points a finger at Elizabeth, as the startled Matt looks on.
Pauline: You know who you are?
Elizabeth: Uh . . .
Pauline: You're a grandchild of Doctor Rose Otherworld.
List of Scripts
Book 12 Table of Contents